Taking Action "Right Away" Spells The Difference

I attended the Feast last Sunday July 19. The series is about Extreme Make Over! and about Service. Some of the key things I learned:

#1. Religious Maturity is different from Spiritual Maturity.
Religous Maturity is growing in the habit of prayer, rituals, it's good and important.
Spiritual Maturity is being able to love like Jesus, loving the difficult people in your lives, having compassion to those who are in need and forgiving to those who have wronged us.

There are 3 signs that you're growing, maturing Spiritually;
First, you must SERVE. Spiritual people SERVE. Christianity is not about going to Heaven, but being able to bring heaven, becoming a blessing especially to those who are experiencing "hell" today. When people feels your sincerity as you SERVE, they'd say "Oh, I now believe in heaven, because of this person." That's the essence of it all.

Second, it must be SIMPLE. Like Mary, she just served her cousin Elizabeth in her home, helping her on household stuffs while Elizabeth is pregnant. It's does not have to be complicated.

Third, it involves SACRIFICE. Sacrifice is not just plain hard work. It has to do with going out of our way to SERVE others. Sometimes, it means turning down "gimmicks" on Friday nights, or entertaining urgent calls late at night, being different in mind set from others - there are a lot of ways we sacrifice for others.

#2. Taking Action "Right Away" Makes The Difference
When the angel said to Mary that she will be the mother of Jesus, “Let it be it done to me according to Thy word” (Luke 1:38 ). She said YES right away. And after that, she went off for a 4-day walk to Judea, Elizabeth, her pregnant cousin - to SERVE. Instead of savoring the moment of good news that she'll be the mother of Jesus, or brag to her friends about it, she headed off, right away to Judea. This is so, because Mary knew that between making a DECISION and ACTING ON IT is a GAP. That gap is called the "TWILIGHT ZONE", when you dilly dally, when you put things off, when you do nothing.

When you don't act on your DECISION, you unconsciuosly, immediately, step into the TWILIGHT ZONE, sometimes it takes you forever to get out of there or NEVER at all. Eventually, you forgot about your DECISION already. Nothing happens unless something moves ~ Albert Einstein

#3. PROCRASTINATION is man's greatest enemy
Oh, I can so relate to what I do nowadays, I teach people ( I cannot count how many times already)on basic financial literacy. Guess what!! those who have been very successful are those who have a bias for Action, those who made a DECISION right away to build their retirement fund, execute their plans and work on that DECISION day in and day out.

Of course, some people will prefer to Analyze - it's fine and it's OK, I expect that. But when you over analyze, tendency is to have an "Analysis-Paralysis" condition. That's the deadlock, they are stuck! Analysis is ok when it leads you to action. It should not take you forever, and at some point, you have to take ACTION. You need to start saving, start investing. The best way to know the market is when you have money on it.

There is always a PRICE to pay for procrastination; it's applicable to all aspects of life; delaying to forgive robs us of full joy and freedom, delaying to plan and work on your financial strategies costs many a lot of money (they just don't know how much because they are stuck), delaying to obey God costs us a lot - our family, our real happiness, and worst, our soul.

Successful people have a bias for action!! Decide to be successful, decide to be wealthy, decide to be a better person and WORK on that decision day in and day out.

The time that you have on this earth is precious – every minute of it. As Ralph Waldo Emerson advised, “Guard well your spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds. Discard them and their value will never be known. Improve them and they will become the brightest gems in a useful life.”

Hammer and Nail

We can be joyful in the midst of tests and trials, because we know that God is allowing them to make us stronger in the faith.

Is There Hope After a Breach of Trust?

Interesting blog from:
http://www.lettersfromthesoul.com/2008/03/18/is-there-hope-after-a-breach-of-trust/

There are people who are naturally forgiving, lenient and understanding. They make the perfect half of a relationship – whether it be romance or simply friendship. These kind souls are quick to open themselves to an erring partner or friend again, and again, and again. I dare say that they are the bravest of all because they have the courage to expose themselves to possible hurt and pain just one more time.

Zeroing in on a romantic relationship, it is quite an interesting thing to consider how the bond mutates or gets transformed after an act of infidelity – a violation of trust if you like. The ball will definitely be on the erring partner’s side and the way he or she plays it will determine whether the relationship survives or will die a sorry death.

Sometimes, remorse is not enough. A cooling off period may be beneficial to allow the aggrieved party to heal, think and reconsider. Weighing of the options comes next, as both parties decide whether there is merit in rebuilding the ruined trust or totally abandoning the prospect of life as a couple altogether.

At this stage of a relationship, efficient communication and maturity are vital in order to sort things out and if all else fail, to part ways without too much anger. This is easier said than done, particularly for the aggrieved party. That is why it is up to the erring partner to play it right by being calm, composed, gentle and contrite. Dousing the aggrieved partner’s fury with penitent acts usually works, coupled with a humble acceptance of his or her wrongdoing, not to mention a promise to remain faithful henceforth.

Nothing is more hurtful for someone whose trust has been betrayed, than to be blamed for the other partner’s act of infidelity. While there may be some truth to the accusation (i.e., she is not as loving and attentive to his needs anymore), if an erring partner wants to salvage the relationship, he or she should not mention that at this critical point. There are other ways and opportunities to bring up the matter – when the problem at hand has been resolved.

A solid foundation of trust, respect and assurances of love proves to be very helpful also if a relationship has to survive a trying time like infidelity of one of the partners. The erring partner always has the past track record of faithfulness to back his or her claim that what happened with the third party was not pre-meditated and that it was not meant to be taken seriously. Of course, the effectiveness of this wears off if the offender keeps on being unfaithful.

Having said all these, the single most important thing for the couple to consider after one of them is unfaithful, is the worth of the relationship as against the single act of infidelity. Is the relationship worth saving? If both partners are completely convinced that it is worth trying, then this should be their common goal, regardless of the feelings at hand. Again, this is easier said than done, because during such times, emotions would run feverishly high and usually overwhelm logic and reason.

That is why the erring partner should do everything in their power to restore a semblance of respect and trust for them in the aggrieved party, in order for both of them to move forward in salvaging the relationship. Having the survival of the relationship as the ultimate goal, gives them an anchor and an objective so that they will not be buffeted by the “storm” that is the act of infidelity.

One very important thing for the erring party to do, given that they both want to save the relationship, is to cut all ties or means of communication with the third party, making the aggrieved party understand that it is over beyond reasonable doubt. It is surprising how people who have been hurt “calm down” after such assurances, and achieve a more sober mood which is what exactly is needed in order to think more rationally.

At the end of the day, the quality and worth of the relationship as far as the partners are concerned, will determine whether it is worth saving at all. If it has been a gem of a bond all along, such a momentary trial should strengthen it all the more, making both parties strongly realize that they cannot afford to lose it. On the other hand, if it is not that valuable, then, this particularly tough time would bring the fact to the fore and will spell the end of it in the blink of an eye.

A Thankful Attitude Can Save Your Marriage

November 24, 2008 Thanksgiving blog of Dr. Lee Baucom. Another nice entry worth reading!

In the United States, it is around Thanksgiving, a time set aside to be thankful. For far too many people, it really becomes an opportunity to eat a big meal, watch a little football, and take a few days off work. Too bad!

What an opportunity to set aside a time to do what we should always do: focus on that for which we are thankful. In fact, the latest research on our health and our ability to thrive shows that those who are thankful and express gratitude live longer, have more meaningful lives, and report higher levels of happiness.

Trouble is, when we have problems, we tend to forget to be thankful. This often has very detrimental effects on our lives and our relationships.

One place this is particularly true is in marriage. Usually, we start relationships being so thankful for the person we met. In fact, when I am talking with pre-marital couples, this is a common theme. It never fails that each is thankful for having found the other. And they can even tell me what they are thankful for.

Then, somewhere along the line, as arguments and conflicts take their tolls on the relationship, we begin to lose track of that for which we are thankful. Suddenly, we are much more aware of what the other person does that bothers us (or doesn't do that bothers us). We lose track of what the other brings to us and to the relationship. And that is when the relationship hits the wall.

In fact, I believe that this process is what creates the real crisis. When we fall out of touch with being thankful for our spouse, our spouse begins to feel unwanted, unloved, unappreciated, and "wrong." That is when people start asking "what did I do wrong?" with no answer. You see, our minds either operate on gratitude and thanksgiving or fear/hurt and protection. There is not much in-between.

Soon, neither can tell someone what they were thankful for, and then, neither can even tell what he or she likes about the other person. At that point, contempt and anger begin to set the emotional tone of the relationship. We begin to focus on what we are not getting, completely ignoring what we are getting.

Sound familiar? If you are in that situation, it is one all-too-common, and one that is entirely avoidable! But the time to turn the tide is now. In order to make the shift, you have to take the relationship off automatic, which is where gratitude turns to resentment and thankfulness turns to insufficiency.

Our minds work in predictable ways, when we don't intervene. But we can easily intervene. We just have to quit allowing the process to run on automatically.

Here are some steps to return to thankfulness and gratitude:

1. Remember that no spouse is as bad as we paint them in our down moments. Our perceptions are skewed when we are upset, angry, or resentful.
2. Remember that people really do the best they can, where they are. This does not mean someone couldn't do better, only that they are doing the best they can now.
3. Remember what you loved and appreciated in the beginning. In fact:
4. List what you would have said at the beginning of the relationship to this: I am thankful for my spouse because. . .
5. Ask yourself whether those items are still true. If so, focus on being thankful for those items. If not:
6. Ask yourself whether they are really not true, or if you just refuse to see and acknowledge them. Often, we lose track with our spouse's true nature, and create an image that is not true, then keep looking for facts to support that image.
7. Work to accept your spouse. In fact, this is the greatest, most important point of all. We all deserve to be accepted for who we are (not the same as how we act). We all want that from our spouse, but few want to extend that to our spouse. This has the power to transform your relationship with your spouse.

Thanksgiving always begins with acceptance: "Thanks for getting us this far. We can go further, but we are glad to be here."

Isn't that the real message of Thanksgiving Day? Be thankful for where you are,
wherever that is, because it is not where you were before. Look forward to bigger things, better days, by starting with acceptance of where you are and who your spouse is. Then move from there!

Up To You

Believe

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Two Feelings Necessary In A Marriage

There are two essential feelings necessary for a marriage to thrive or even survive. Notice I said feelings, not emotions. I think that word better describes what I am trying to communicate. I feel a certain way. That ties into an emotional response, but is still different.

I note these feelings for you as a way of considering how you are feeling, and to consider how your spouse may be feeling. At this point, I am suggesting these feelings, but am not going to be giving a great deal of answers. That is something I am still working on.

So the two feelings are
Feeling wanted.
Feeling accepted.

Feeling wanted would be in opposition to feeling a) needed or b) unwanted. And feeling accepted is in opposition to feeling rejected (its just that it is not quite so simple as that).

To take these in order: Feeling wanted. With this idea, I am referring to feeling wanted on a number of fronts. Am I wanted sexually? Does the person want to be with me? Does the person want to know me? Does the person want me to do better? These are just a few of the "wants." You can add yours.

The opposite of feeling wanted is feeling unwanted or needed. Both of these feelings destroy a relationship. If I feel unwanted, then I begin to feel undesirable, unlovable, unworthy. This is especially true if it comes from someone I love. Feeling unwanted causes us to question our physical attractiveness, or mental capacity, our spiritual basis. All from a single feeling.

But just as destructive is the feeling of being needed. You see, someone can need me without wanting me. Or the feeling of being needed can lead to fears of losing one's self to the other person. When someone needs me, it pulls at me to meet that person's needs, regardless of what I might want.

What I am not saying: couples do depend on each other. That is the nature of marriage. So the more you weave your life together, the more you functionally rely on each other, and really need each other. But that is different than the feeling of being needed, really of neediness from a spouse.

So, two questions on this one:

Do you feel wanted by your spouse?
Does your spouse feel wanted by you?

Next feeling: the feeling of being accepted. This is one of the most basic emotional needs that we have, to be accepted and loved. While I believe that unconditional love is a goal, not a reality, this is sort of what I am referring to. Does my spouse accept me for who I am?

I am reminded of some wise advice I heard long ago, "when someones 'I could love you if. . .,' they already love you, they just want to change you." Unfortunately, many marriages are built on people making a project out of their spouse. It may start before marriage, or it may start years into a marriage. But most spouses have a "wish list" of changes they would love in a spouse.

In the last week, I have heard about spouses that would be more loved if they: lost weight, got a better job, cleaned better, lasted longer during sex, had more sex, started an interesting hobby, dressed more stylishly, quit drinking, starting exercising, spoke more pleasantly, quit snoring, started going to church, helped more around the house, etc., etc.

Now my point is NOT that we cannot improve ourselves. My point is that when the pressure comes from outside of ourselves, we feel more defeated than empowered and we feel unaccepted (or rejected). When someone wants me to change, my feeling is not of being accepted but of being rejected. I do not feel like I am being helped to change, only that I am not accepted.

What this does NOT mean: we do not have to put up with any behavior, just to accept the other person. I don't have to accept abuse, lying, criminal behavior, infidelity, and any number of other actions. So if we drop out all the "outliers," and go with the more typical, then we are aiming at the same target.

Someone once said, after the husband made it clear that she needed to lose weight, "it's not like I can't see myself in the mirror! He acts like this is some revelation to me!" Fact is, most of us are aware of our shortcomings and imperfections. Having them pointed out is rarely constructive. Feeling accepted and loved, that is what we all need!

So again:

Do you feel accepted?
Does your spouse feel accepted?

Talk to me. Tell me what you think. Am I on target? Would you like to hear more on this subject? Do you disagree? Leave a comment and tell me what you think.

- Dr. Lee Baucom, blog January 15, 2009

The Winter Of Marriage

December 10, 2008, blog of Dr. Lee Baucom. Nice read.

I love to trail run. I love the feeling of going through the woods, feeling the ground beneath me, usually just behind my yellow Lab. Now, I don't live in what anyone would consider to be the Mecca of trail running.

But there is this one trail. . . I figure I have run it over 600 times. It is my standby trail, about 7 miles long. After that many runs, I know what is coming, and exactly where I am. I don't have to think about it, I just go.

But one of the things I really love is watching the seasons change as I run the same stretch of land. I watch the progress of each season as I go: the growing warmth and green of Spring, the heat and humidity of Summer, the cool colors of Fall, and the bitter solitude of Winter. . .

Which led me to contemplate this about the seasons: Marriage is a lot like the seasons of the year. And we don't act like it is.

We like to think that a marriage is going to be just like it was (fill in the blank). We expect that we will always be gushing with love, passion, emotion, etc., that many feel at the beginning of a marriage.

Unfortunately, that is not reality.

So what if we shifted our thoughts a little bit? What if we started to expect that marriage is more like the seasons of the year? This changes two things:

We stop pretending that nothing will change. We accept that things will change, and that this is OK.

We come to believe that the place we are will change.

In other words, things will not stay as good as we wish them to, but they won't stay as bad as they can get sometimes. Life is change. Life is shift. Life is seasons.

You may be reading this because you find yourself in the Winter of a marriage. It can all seem so cold, so barren, so desolate. It can seem that nothing will get better. We think back to the cool of Fall, wishing it was back. If you aren't careful, you can fool yourself into believing that something better can ever come.

But Spring is always just around the corner, if we wait for it. Sometimes, we decide to just move to Antarctica, camp out in desolation. But if we just wait it out, Winter leads to Spring.

It may come slowly: kinder words toward each other, a hand held, a hug accepted. But soon, the Spring thaw takes over and their is growth. Spring can take some cultivation, action, effort.

I grow Banana trees in my backyard (yes, bananas can grow in Kentucky!), and when I plant the stalks each year, it is in the early days of Spring. The brown stalks have no leaves, look dead, and just sit there. . . for what seems like forever! But I have faith. I keep on watering. Then, one day, I notice a little green beginning to break through the top. Then a leaf erupts. Suddenly, the plant takes off!

But guess what? Even during the period when the plant looked dead, it really wasn't. It was hard at work on the inside, getting ready to shoot up!

Sometimes, marriage is the same way. Things just look dead, but there is lots of activity on the inside. Both individuals may be working hard to get things going, even if it is outwardly invisible. Suddenly, Spring arrives.

And Spring is followed by Summer. Those fun, lazy days. Life just seems so much easier. The rhythm of life changes to an easier pace. Life (or the relationship) is enjoyed and savored.

But just when you think you have it figured out, some leaves start falling. Cool breezes kick up. In marriages, the assumption that you finally have it all figured out gives way to new disagreements and realizations that you really don't see things alike. The cool can be breathtaking, but it is easy to pretend that the cold is not coming. After all, there are still warm days.

Until one day, there is frost on the ground. Conversations screech to a halt. Tensions create distance. Distance leads to more cold. At that point, both people are wondering what happened to the relationship.

How did it get so cold, so distant?

Well. . . that is the cycle of life! Winter does come. But so does Spring.

As cold as it is, I still drag myself out to run the trail, because Winter may not be quite as enjoyable, it can be beautiful -- and Spring is coming!

How To Have an Abundant 2009

Friend, do you want to have an abundant 2009?

Follow Matthew 6:33. Put God first and the Bible says that “all things” will be added unto you.

Can I tell you a funny story?

Last Christmas season, a mother and her little girl were shopping in Megamall. The crowd was extra thick. The mother sternly told her child, “Princess, no matter what happens, hold onto my skirt! I don’t want you to get lost. Hold my skirt, you hear me?” The little girl said yes as she wrapped her little fingers tight onto her mother’s skirt.

Two hours later, the mother was talking to the Security Guard. “Guard, have you seen a little girl holding a skirt?”

There are people who look for the “skirt” of blessings. All they want are the blessings of God. That’s what they hold on to. That’s dangerous. Because one day, they’ll end up holding an empty skirt.

Instead of looking for blessings, look for the Blesser.

When you have the Blesser, the blessings will follow.

The most important decision you can make in 2009 is to put God first.

That doesn’t mean you won’t work anymore or care for your family. If God is “first”, then there must be a “second” and a “third” and so on. I believe family is second. I believe work is third.

But God must be first.

- Bo Sanchez

What I Would Like To Be This Year and In the Years To Come .......

I pray that I become what the Scriptures describe of "The Wife of Noble Character" (Proverbs 31) .... Make me a better person everyday!!! ---- Nance

Happy New Year Everyone!

Happy New Year! This is my year...

Simbang Gabi 2008 - Pangatlong Gabi

"He will save his people from their sins"

Scripture: Matthew 1:18-24

18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child of the Holy Spirit; 19 and her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. 20 But as he considered this, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, "Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit; 21 she will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins." 22 All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: 23 "Behold, a virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and his name shall be called Emmanuel" (which means, God with us). 24 When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took his wife.

Meditation: Do you believe that God will fulfill every promise he has made?

The prophets Jeremiah and Isaiah spoke words of hope in a hopeless situation for Israel. The Davidic dynasty was corrupt and unfit for a Messianic King. Apostates like King Ahaz (2 Kings 16) and weaklings like Zedekiah (Jeremiah 38) occupied the throne of David. How could God be faithful to his promise to raise up a righteous King who would rule forever over the house of David? The prophets trusted that God could somehow “raise up a righteous shoot” from the stump of Jesse (Isaiah 2:11).

Like the prophets we are called “in hope to believe against hope” (Romans 4:18) that God can and will fulfill all his promises.

Mary had to face an enormous challenge to her faith and trust in God and to the faith of her family and Joseph, the man she chose to marry. She was asked to assume a burden of tremendous responsibility. It had never been heard of before that a child could be born without a natural father. Mary was asked to accept this miraculous exception to the laws of nature. That required faith and trust in God and in his promises.

Second, Mary was not yet married. Pregnancy outside of wedlock was not tolerated in those days. Mary was only espoused to Joseph, and such an engagement had to last for a whole year. She was asked to assume a great risk. She could have been rejected by Joseph, by her family, by all her own people. Mary knew that Joseph and her family would not understand without revelation from God. She nonetheless believed and trusted in God's promises.

Joseph, a just and God-fearing man, did not wish to embarrass or punish his espoused wife, Mary when he discovered that she was pregnant. To all appearances she had broken their solemn pledge to be faithful and chaste to one another. Joseph, no doubt took this troubling matter to God in prayer. He was not hasty to judge or to react with hurt and anger. God rewarded him not only with guidance and consolation, but with the divine assurance that he had indeed called Joseph to be the husband of Mary and to assume a mission that would require the utmost faith, confidence, and trust in Almighty God.

Joseph believed in the divine message to take Mary as his wife and to accept the child in her womb as the promised Messiah. Like Mary, Joseph is a model of faith for us. He is a faithful witness and servant of God's unfolding plan of redemption.

Are you ready to believe in the promises of God, even when faced with perplexing circumstances and what seems like insurmountable problems? God has not left us alone, but has brought us his only begotten Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Let us celebrate Christmas, the feast of the Incarnation, with joyful hearts and let us renew our faith and hope in God and in his redeeming work.

"Lord Jesus, you came to save us from sin and the power of death. May I always rejoice in your salvation and trust in your plan for my life".

Simbang Gabi 2008 - Pangalawang Gabi

Dec 17, 2008 - Pangalawang Simbang Gabi. We ate our dinner (daing na bangus with sauted sayote and carrots - yummy!) before going to Mass. Manny needed to pick us (Nicole and me) up first at Robinson's Dasma around 6pm because we shopped for Nicole's custome. She will have a Cinderella play in school and mommy bought her, her own pair of pink tights and leotards, and a pink doll shoes. Well, it's nice to feel the coldness of the night breeze as we draw close to Christmas day. Masarap magsimba kasama ang buong pamilya.... that's how the Lord wants it to be. Here's the gospel, on our nine-day journey... - Nance

"The genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David"

Scripture: Matthew 1:1-17

1 The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham. 2 Abraham was the father of Isaac, and Isaac the father of Jacob, and Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers, 3 and Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar, and Perez the father of Hezron, and Hezron the father of Ram, 4 and Ram the father of Ammin'adab, and Ammin'adab the father of Nahshon, and Nahshon the father of Salmon, 5 and Salmon the father of Bo'az by Rahab, and Bo'az the father of Obed by Ruth, and Obed the father of Jesse, 6 and Jesse the father of David the king. And David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uri'ah, 7 and Solomon the father of Rehobo'am, and Rehobo'am the father of Abi'jah, and Abi'jah the father of Asa, 8 and Asa the father of Jehosh'aphat, and Jehosh'aphat the father of Joram, and Joram the father of Uzzi'ah, 9 and Uzzi'ah the father of Jotham, and Jotham the father of Ahaz, and Ahaz the father of Hezeki'ah, 10 and Hezeki'ah the father of Manas'seh, and Manas'seh the father of Amos, and Amos the father of Josi'ah, 11 and Josi'ah the father of Jechoniah and his brothers, at the time of the deportation to Babylon. 12 And after the deportation to Babylon: Jechoni'ah was the father of She-al'ti-el, and She-al'ti-el the father of Zerub'babel, 13 and Zerub'babel the father of Abi'ud, and Abi'ud the father of Eli'akim, and Eli'akim the father of Azor, 14 and Azor the father of Zadok, and Zadok the father of Achim, and Achim the father of Eli'ud, 15 and Eli'ud the father of Elea'zar, and Elea'zar the father of Matthan, and Matthan the father of Jacob, 16 and Jacob the father of Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called Christ. 17 So all the generations from Abraham to David were fourteen generations, and from David to the deportation to Babylon fourteen generations, and from the deportation to Babylon to the Christ fourteen generations.

Meditation: I wonder why Matthew felt it necessary to narrate the many generations from which Jesus descended. Bakit nga ba? I think one of the reasons is to demonstrate that God has plan all along and it never ceases to stop - it overrides our mortality, generation after generation. God has a plan for each and everyone of us.

To start the homily, Father Ogie said " How many of you men would opt to marry a virgin?" Well, of course. If we would have the opportunity or control all the time, who would not want to marry one. But for the case of Joseph, yes Joseph, as in Mary and Joseph. How much harder can it be when Joseph knew that his love will bear a child that is not his own? Joseph even planned to separate from Mary in silence - to avoid ridicule or shame may be. But God has His plans. Joseph accepted this truth and followed the Lord's plans. I do not know how or where Joseph got the strength and faith to carry on with the things he had at hand. But I am very sure, God "extends" our own selves when we have reached our own weakness or limits.

Father Ogie said that Joseph is a great example of how the power of God works in our lives. If Joseph relied on himself alone, maybe it would be a different Christmas story.

God works best when we admit our own weakness. And when we receive the Lord, everything goes with it - His power, His strength, His mercy, His faith - everything. We become connected to our Father, Jesus our Brother. We just need to acknowledge, and believe that we have received it.

How well do you know your spiritual heritage? Genealogies are very important. They give us our roots and help us to understand our heritage.

I knew that from my own life's account. From the beginning of time, He knew I would love Him but not to deep, just on the sideline, just a plain acquaintance from Sunday Mass, how other people talk about Him, etc.... He knew I would stray, and be contented with what the "world" has to offer - a good childhood, a good career, a good family, blessed with kids..and a lot, lot more of blessings. He knew I would need to realize I am still lost. He knew I would need saving. He knew the struggles I would go through, as well as every triumph. He knew my dreams, the ones I treasure in my life, my joys, my hurts and my weakness.

In fact, sometimes I feel He knows me more than I know myself. Every tear and every moment of laughter. He knew every minute. Every moment. Including this one right now. As Christmas approaches, may His saving love be born in our hearts. May His eternal plan for each of us unfold even more as we experience the wonder of His glory through Jesus Christ our Savior.

Jesus is the fulfillment of all God's promises. He is the hope not only for the people of the Old Covenant but for all nations as well. He is the Savior of the world. In him we receive adoption into a royal priesthood and holy nation as sons and daughters of the living God (see 1 Peter 1:9). Do you recognize your spiritual genealogy and do you accept God as your Father and Jesus as the sovereign King and Lord of your life?

"Lord Jesus Christ, you are the Messiah and Savior of the world, the hope of Israel and the hope of the nations. Be the ruler of my heart and the king of my home. May there be nothing in my life that is not under your kingship."

- Nancy Martin, Schwager

The Unforgiveable Sin? - Yes, there is.

Was about to shutdown my PC, I happen to see the words "the unforgiveable sin" on the monitor. And I thought, "is there such a thing?" I knew the Lord's mercy is so great for us sinners, He can see beyond our faults, our sins, as long as we repent (I mean really live it) and ask for forgiveness. But you see, there is really an unforgiveable sin. Just knew it now, honestly. - Nancy

"Blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven"

Scripture: Matthew 12:31-32

31 Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. 32 And whoever says a word against the Son of man will be forgiven; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.

Meditation:What is the unforgivable sin which Jesus warns us to avoid? Jesus knows that his disciples will be tested and he assures them that the Holy Spirit will give them what they need in their time of adversity. He warns them, however, that it's possible to spurn the grace of God and to fall into apostasy (giving up the faith) out of cowardice or disbelief.

Why is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit reprehensible? Blasphemy consists in uttering against God, inwardly or outwardly, words of hatred, reproach, or defiance. It's contrary to the respect due God and his holy name. Jesus speaks of blaspheming against the Holy Spirit as the unforgivable sin. Jesus spoke about this sin immediately after the scribes and Pharisees had attributed his miracles to the work of the devil instead of to God.

A sin can only be unforgivable if repentance is impossible. If someone repeatedly closes his eye to God and shuts his ears to his voice, he comes to a point where he can no longer recognize God when he can be seen, and when he sees evil as good and good as evil (Is. 5:20). To fear such a sin, however, signals that one is not dead to God and is conscious of the need for God's grace and mercy.

There are no limits to the mercy of God, but any who refuses to accept his mercy by repenting, rejects the forgiveness of his sins and the salvation offered by the Holy Spirit. God gives grace and help to all who humbly call upon him. Giving up on God and refusing to turn away from sin and disbelief results from pride and the loss of hope in God.

What is the basis of our hope and confidence in God? Jesus' death on the cross won for us our salvation and adoption as the children of God. The love and mercy of Jesus Christ, the forgiveness of sins, and the gift of the Holy Spirit are freely given to those who acknowledge Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Is your hope securely placed in Christ and his victory on the cross?

"Lord Jesus, your mercies are new everyday. Help me to turn away from sin and cooperate with the purifying grace and work of the Holy Spirit in my life." - rc.net (Schwager)

The Unforgiveable Sin? - Yes, there is.

Was about to shutdown my PC, I happen to see the words "the unforgiveable sin" on the monitor. And I thought, "is there such a thing?" I knew the Lord's mercy is so great for us sinners, He can see beyond our faults, our sins, as long as we repent (I mean really live it) and ask for forgiveness. But you see, there is really an unforgiveable sin. Just knew it now, honestly. - Nancy

"Blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven"

Scripture: Matthew 12:31-32

31 Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. 32 And whoever says a word against the Son of man will be forgiven; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.

Meditation:What is the unforgivable sin which Jesus warns us to avoid? Jesus knows that his disciples will be tested and he assures them that the Holy Spirit will give them what they need in their time of adversity. He warns them, however, that it's possible to spurn the grace of God and to fall into apostasy (giving up the faith) out of cowardice or disbelief.

Why is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit reprehensible? Blasphemy consists in uttering against God, inwardly or outwardly, words of hatred, reproach, or defiance. It's contrary to the respect due God and his holy name. Jesus speaks of blaspheming against the Holy Spirit as the unforgivable sin. Jesus spoke about this sin immediately after the scribes and Pharisees had attributed his miracles to the work of the devil instead of to God.

A sin can only be unforgivable if repentance is impossible. If someone repeatedly closes his eye to God and shuts his ears to his voice, he comes to a point where he can no longer recognize God when he can be seen, and when he sees evil as good and good as evil (Is. 5:20). To fear such a sin, however, signals that one is not dead to God and is conscious of the need for God's grace and mercy.

There are no limits to the mercy of God, but any who refuses to accept his mercy by repenting, rejects the forgiveness of his sins and the salvation offered by the Holy Spirit. God gives grace and help to all who humbly call upon him. Giving up on God and refusing to turn away from sin and disbelief results from pride and the loss of hope in God.

What is the basis of our hope and confidence in God? Jesus' death on the cross won for us our salvation and adoption as the children of God. The love and mercy of Jesus Christ, the forgiveness of sins, and the gift of the Holy Spirit are freely given to those who acknowledge Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Is your hope securely placed in Christ and his victory on the cross?

"Lord Jesus, your mercies are new everyday. Help me to turn away from sin and cooperate with the purifying grace and work of the Holy Spirit in my life." - rc.net (Schwager)

Simbang Gabi 2008 - Unang Gabi

Dec 16, 2008 - Simula ng Simbang Gabi. Malamig ang hangin. Today, we finally enter the last period of preparation for Christmas. Especially on this first day of Simbang Gabi, our churches are crowded. The "Simbang Gabi" is actually a Mass in honor of the Blessed Virgin Mary. The Church wants to accompany Mary during her last days before giving birth, and honor and praise her for being so faithful to God’s plans. Let's internalize the gospel for these next nine days. - Nancy

"The tax collectors and prostitutes go into the kingdom of God before you"

Scripture: Matthew 21:28-32

28 "What do you think? A man had two sons; and he went to the first and said, `Son, go and work in the vineyard today.' 29 And he answered, `I will not'; but afterward he repented and went. 30 And he went to the second and said the same; and he answered, `I go, sir,' but did not go. 31 Which of the two did the will of his father?" They said, "The first." Jesus said to them, "Truly, I say to you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes go into the kingdom of God before you. 32 For John came to you in the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes believed him; and even when you saw it, you did not afterward repent and believe him.

Meditation:
There were two key points of the gospel that Father Ogie, our parish priest here in Manggahan, Gen Tri, Cavite, noted last night. One was; Because of our imperfections, our sins, especially of the past, we tend to seek for what is right and doing what ought to be done. When we look back, we should let the things of the past inspire us to look forward and make the best of what God expects of us. You know why? "Dahil hindi daw natatapos ang gawain at kapangyarihan ng Diyos sa mga nagawa na". What is important is that in the end, we do what was told us. This is the point Jesus makes in the parable of the two sons. Ultimately, it is obedience and not words that count for everything in our lives of faith. It is easy to say that we will do something. It means everything to actually go ahead and do it! Actions will always speak louder than words because it is in our actions that we actually commit ourselves to a particular cause or movement.

Secondly, Ang taong malayo sa Diyos, ang kinahahantungan ay kapahamakan o kasalanan. Marami daw ngayon mga taong naglalakad ng gising (or tulog ba :o) ), I guess he refers to people who are lost and are just existing, but not really "living" as what God expects them to be. Jesus tells us today that we are real disciples when we do the will of His Father, when we do what He has commanded us.

And here is one reflection I found on the net;
What kind of future are you preparing for? Jesus encourages us to think -- to think about the consequences of our choices, especially the choices and decisions that will count not just for now but for eternity as well. The choices we make now will affect and shape our future, both our future on earth as well as in the life of the age to come.

Jesus tells a simple story of two imperfect sons to illustrate the way of God's kingdom.

The father amply provided for his sons food, lodging, and everything they needed. Everything the father had belonged to them as well. The father also rewarded his sons with excellent work in his own vineyard. He expected them to show him gratitude, loyalty, and honor by doing their fair share of the daily work.

The "rebellious" son told his father to his face that he would not work for him. But afterwards he changed his mind and did what the father commanded him. The "good" son said he would work for his father, but didn't carry through. He did his own pleasure contrary to his father's will. Now who was really the good son?

Both sons disobeyed their father; but one repented and then did what the father told him.

Jesus makes his point clear: Good intentions are not enough. And promises don't count unless they are performed. God wants to change our hearts so that we will show by our speech and by our actions that we respect his will and do it. God offers each of us the greatest treasure possible– unending peace, joy, happiness, and life with him in his kingdom. We can lose that treasure if we refuse the grace God offers us to follow in his way of truth and righteousness. Do you respect the will of your Father in heaven?

"Lord Jesus, change my heart that I may only desire that which is pleasing to you. Help me to respect your will and give me the strength, joy and perseverance to carry it out wholeheartedly."

-- rc.net (Schwager), Nancy

Advent Merienda

Who does not look forward to merienda time? Who does not enjoy the daily coffee break? The coffee break refreshes and relaxes us; it gives us the strength to continue the often tiring work.

After nine days of heavy messages for our spiritual Advent exercises, the Church offers us a break. In the first reading, Isaiah assures us that the Lord “gives strength to the wearied,” that He renews the strength of those who hope in Him. And today’s very short Gospel passage contains one of the most beautiful words that came from the lips of Jesus. They are directed to those who labor and are burdened. The Greek words speak of grinding toil and desperate burdens. The invitation to such weary people is to come to Jesus who will give them rest.

The Greek word for “rest” here suggests renewal and refreshing. It does not promise that the burdens will go away or that we will never again be weary. It does promise renewal and refreshment in the difficult journey of life. The key word in this invitation is the word “yoke.” This word was used in Judaism in a figurative way to signify submission, discipline, duty, and obedience. However, it also spoke of freedom and life.

Jesus says that this Christian yoke is easy, well fitting. When Christ renews and refreshes us from our weary burdens in the journey of life, the discipline of obedience to Him is not burdensome, but a joy. What a beautiful message for our Advent journey.

December is, for most of us, the busiest time of the year. And here comes Jesus telling us, “Slow down, listen for while. Have a spiritual merienda.” Remember Martha and Mary? Martha was busy cooking a delicious supper for her beloved Master while Mary sat at His feet and listened to Him. And Jesus praises her and makes Martha aware that Mary had chosen the better part. “Come to me… and I will give you rest.” Are you ready to sit down at His feet and rest with Him during these hectic days? - Fr. Rudy Horst

Reflection Question:

Am I ready to schedule a regular spiritual merienda time with the Lord?

Slow me down, Lord. I thank You so much for today’s message. How I need it during these days of preparation for Christmas. Every merienda time, I will remember Your invitation and try to sit more at Your feet where You offer spiritual refreshment.

December 8, 2008: What the Bible says about Marriage Continued 2

Let me continue this blog series for 1 Corinthians 7; moving on to verse 7 to verse 11. - Nancy

7 I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

a. For I wish that all men were even as I myself: Paul, at the time of this writing, was unmarried (putting himself among the unmarried and the widows). Here he is recognizing the benefit of being single (which he will speak more of later in the letter).

i. Though Paul was unmarried at when he wrote this letter, he probably had been married at one time. We can say this because we know Paul was an extremely observant Jew, and an example among his people (Philippians 3:4-6). In Paul’s day, Jews considered that marriage was a duty, to the extent that a man reaching 20 years of age without having been married was considered to have sinned. Unmarried men were often considered excluded from heaven, and not real men at all.

ii. Also, by Paul’s own words, it is likely that Paul was a member of the Sanhedrin (in Acts 26:10, Paul says I cast my vote against them, speaking of the early Christians). An unmarried man could not be a member of the Sanhedrin.

iii. So, what happened to Paul’s wife? The Scriptures are silent. Perhaps she left him when he became a Christian, or perhaps she died some time before or after he became a Christian. But we know that it was likely he was married before, and we know he was not married when writing this letter (and there is no appearance of a wife for Paul in Acts). Paul probably was a good one to speak of the relative gifts and responsibilities of both marriage and singleness.

b. Each one has his own gift from God: Though Paul knew singleness was good for him, he would not impose it on anyone. The important thing is what gift one has from God, either being gifted to singleness or marriage.

i. Significantly, Paul regards both marriage and singleness as gifts from God. Many find themselves in the “grass is greener” trap, with singles wishing they were married and married people wishing they were singles. Each state is a gift from God.

ii. And, to be single or married is a special gifting from God. When Paul writes his own gift, he uses the same word for spiritual gifts in 1 Corinthians 12. Each state, married or single, needs special gifting from God to work.

iii. Paul’s understanding that the unmarried state can be a gift is especially striking when we consider the Jewish background of Paul himself and the early church. It was regarded as a sin for a Jewish man to be unmarried. “Among the Jews marriage was not held a thing indifferent, or at their own liberty to choose or refuse, but a binding command.” (Trapp) Clarke quotes from an ancient Jewish writing known as the Gemara: “It is forbidden a man to be without a wife; because it is written, It is not good for man to be alone. And whosoever gives not himself to generation and multiplying is all one with a murderer: he is as though he diminished from the image of God”.

iv. While Paul recognizes that some are gifted for marriage, and some are gifted for the unmarried state, no one is “gifted” for sexual immorality! The married must live faithfully to their spouse, and the unmarried must live celibate.

c. If they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry: Paul’s recommendation to marry in such cases is not based on marriage being more or less spiritual, but on very practical concerns, especially relevant to his day (as explained in 1 Corinthians 7:26, 29, 32). A godly sexual relationship within the covenant of marriage is God’s plan for meeting our sexual needs.

i. Though Paul preferred the unmarried state for himself, he doesn’t want anyone to think that being married was less spiritual, or more spiritual. It is all according to an individual’s gifting. Remember that Paul told Timothy that forbidding to marry was a doctrine of demons (1 Timothy 4:1-3).

ii. Paul “was aware how powerfully a counterfeit show of purity deceives the godly.” (Calvin)

d. It is better to marry than to burn with passion: Paul recognizes marriage as a legitimate refuge from pressures of sexual immorality. One should not feel they are immature or unspiritual because they desire to get married so as to not burn with passion.

i. Paul is not speaking about what we might consider “normal” sexual temptation. “It is one thing to burn, another to feel heat . . . what Paul calls burning here, is not merely a slight sensation, but being so aflame with passion that you cannot stand up against it.” (Calvin)

ii. At the same time, if someone has a problem with lust or sexual sin, they should not think that getting married will automatically solve their problems. Many a Christian man has been grieved to find that his lust for other women did not magically “go away” when he got married.

10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

Verses 10-11 is about divorce and separation for Christian couples.

a. Now to the married: Remember that in this chapter, Paul is answering questions written to him from the Corinthian Christians. He has already dealt with the questions about the relative merits of being married or single, and if it is more spiritual to abstain from sex in a marriage relationship. Now to the . . . indicates he is moving to another question, and these questions and answers have to do with marriage and divorce.

b. To the married: Here, Paul is addressing marriages where both partners are Christians. He will deal with other situations in following verses.

c. A wife is not to depart from her husband: The Corinthian Christians were wondering if it might be more spiritual to be single, and if they should break up existing marriages for the cause of greater holiness. Paul answers their question straight from the heart of the Lord: absolutely not!

d. Even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: Paul, in addressing a marriage where both partners are Christians, says that they should not – indeed, can not – break up the marriage in a misguided search for higher spirituality. In fact, if one were to depart their spouse, they must either remain unmarried or be reconciled.

i. This connects with the two specific grounds under which God will recognize a divorce: when there is sexual immorality (Matthew 19:3-9) and in the case when a believing partner is deserted by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15). On any other grounds, God will not recognize divorce, even if the state does. And, if God does not recognize the divorce, then the individual is not free to remarry – they can only be reconciled to their former spouse.

ii. Jesus said the one who divorces for invalid reasons, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery (Matthew 19:9). When Jesus’ disciples understood how binding the marriage covenant was, and how it could not be broken (in the sight of God) for just any reason, they responded If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry (Matthew 19:10). They understood Jesus perfectly, and so should more people today, before they enter into the covenant of marriage!

iii. Therefore, if a person says “God just doesn’t want me to be married to this person any more” or “God brought someone better to me,” they are wrong and not speaking from God at all. God never recognizes a divorce for such reasons.

e. If she does depart: A Christian couple may in fact split up for reasons that do not justify a Biblical divorce. It may be because of a misguided sense of spirituality, it may be because of general unhappiness, or conflict, or abuse, or misery, addiction, or poverty. Paul recognizes (without at all encouraging) that one might depart in such circumstance, but they cannot consider themselves divorced, with the right to remarry, because their marriage had not split up for reasons that justify a Biblical divorce.

i. These problems may – perhaps – justify a separation (depart), but the partners are expected to honor their marriage vows even in their separation, because as far as God is concerned, they are still married – their marriage covenant has not been broken for what God considers to be Biblical reasons.

f. And a husband is not to divorce his wife: Paul applies the same principle to husbands as to wives, and makes the important distinction between one who might depart (separation while still honoring the marriage covenant) and one who might divorce. Except for sexual immorality (as Jesus described in Matthew 19:3-9), two Christians never have a valid reason for divorce.

i. Just as importantly, Jesus never commands divorce in the case of sexual immorality. He carefully says it is permitted, and that the permission was given because of the hardness of your hearts. (Matthew 19:8)

- enduringword, bible gateway