Missing home

November 7, 2007 5:43 AM I was awake since 5 am this morning, hhhhmmmm can't go back to sleep after going to the bathroom. I just prayed and huddled close to Manny, who always gives me a warm hug even while he's sleeping (or is he?). I loved to spend quiet mornings, gives me time to reflect and think about the Lord, our life and be humbled to his Great plans for us as a family, for me especially. Actually, it's been 3 months and 4 days since we left Manila. I must admit I really miss home a lot. Yes, minsan nga I just feel my eyes become moist/wet with tears, especially when Maqs is sleeping and I have time to think about home. This is not the first time I've been out of the country due to company-sponsored business/long haul trips on my previous job but this time I feel different - I am with my family and there's no return ticket. It's like handling 2 very different things in your hands - one makes you happy, the other one makes you sad. You can't do anything about it, just ride on kid. Sometimes, I ask myself "Do we really need to be here (in Malaysia)?" Coz, I terribly miss my mom, our house in Cavite, Intel friends back home, my in-laws in Bataan (yes, I do miss them really) and my hometown in QC. 76 years old na kasi mama ko and I don't get to see her as often as I could - I missed my mom the most. Unlike in Manila, she just comes by and pays a visit to our house in Cavite or we spend weekends going to QC to see her. Ganito siguro pag bunso ka.

The house we just renovated in Cavite, I can always picture it inside and out - how the furnitures are arranged, the color of the walls, windows, our a-decade+-old curtains, my newly-bought lights from Soler (yes, i was the one who picked the best lighting for each corner and room of the house), the empty dog house ni Charlene (boxer namin), the old perimeter fence we have that needs re-painting, si Bogli (our "old"I white askal dog), I always walk around the house, as if I am there. Dami ring memories ng house namin - that is where I used to stay while working in Intel nung dalaga pa ako, wala pa ngang bakod nun eh, it's where we started our married life, dun din gawa ang mga babies ko hehe... friends come over...I love the fresh, cold breeze that always enters the house lalo na pag ganitong magpapasko.. Annggg sarraaapp! Kahit walang bagyo, ang hangin-hangin sa min kaya. Sayang nga eh, di ko man lang napaganda pa yung loob. I would have searched the web for good interior designs, incorporate it with my preference and do-it-myself ba for our house. Pero hindi eh, I needed to start packing up our things and prepare the house for rental. O 6:40 am na, pero madilim pa rin.

Sige na nga.... gising na mga bata. Back to reality muna... sarap kasi magsulat eh.

"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future ..." Jeremiah 29:11