Let me continue this blog series for 1 Corinthians 7; moving on to verse 7 to verse 11. - Nancy
7 I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
a. For I wish that all men were even as I myself: Paul, at the time of this writing, was unmarried (putting himself among the unmarried and the widows). Here he is recognizing the benefit of being single (which he will speak more of later in the letter).
i. Though Paul was unmarried at when he wrote this letter, he probably had been married at one time. We can say this because we know Paul was an extremely observant Jew, and an example among his people (Philippians 3:4-6). In Paul’s day, Jews considered that marriage was a duty, to the extent that a man reaching 20 years of age without having been married was considered to have sinned. Unmarried men were often considered excluded from heaven, and not real men at all.
ii. Also, by Paul’s own words, it is likely that Paul was a member of the Sanhedrin (in Acts 26:10, Paul says I cast my vote against them, speaking of the early Christians). An unmarried man could not be a member of the Sanhedrin.
iii. So, what happened to Paul’s wife? The Scriptures are silent. Perhaps she left him when he became a Christian, or perhaps she died some time before or after he became a Christian. But we know that it was likely he was married before, and we know he was not married when writing this letter (and there is no appearance of a wife for Paul in Acts). Paul probably was a good one to speak of the relative gifts and responsibilities of both marriage and singleness.
b. Each one has his own gift from God: Though Paul knew singleness was good for him, he would not impose it on anyone. The important thing is what gift one has from God, either being gifted to singleness or marriage.
i. Significantly, Paul regards both marriage and singleness as gifts from God. Many find themselves in the “grass is greener” trap, with singles wishing they were married and married people wishing they were singles. Each state is a gift from God.
ii. And, to be single or married is a special gifting from God. When Paul writes his own gift, he uses the same word for spiritual gifts in 1 Corinthians 12. Each state, married or single, needs special gifting from God to work.
iii. Paul’s understanding that the unmarried state can be a gift is especially striking when we consider the Jewish background of Paul himself and the early church. It was regarded as a sin for a Jewish man to be unmarried. “Among the Jews marriage was not held a thing indifferent, or at their own liberty to choose or refuse, but a binding command.” (Trapp) Clarke quotes from an ancient Jewish writing known as the Gemara: “It is forbidden a man to be without a wife; because it is written, It is not good for man to be alone. And whosoever gives not himself to generation and multiplying is all one with a murderer: he is as though he diminished from the image of God”.
iv. While Paul recognizes that some are gifted for marriage, and some are gifted for the unmarried state, no one is “gifted” for sexual immorality! The married must live faithfully to their spouse, and the unmarried must live celibate.
c. If they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry: Paul’s recommendation to marry in such cases is not based on marriage being more or less spiritual, but on very practical concerns, especially relevant to his day (as explained in 1 Corinthians 7:26, 29, 32). A godly sexual relationship within the covenant of marriage is God’s plan for meeting our sexual needs.
i. Though Paul preferred the unmarried state for himself, he doesn’t want anyone to think that being married was less spiritual, or more spiritual. It is all according to an individual’s gifting. Remember that Paul told Timothy that forbidding to marry was a doctrine of demons (1 Timothy 4:1-3).
ii. Paul “was aware how powerfully a counterfeit show of purity deceives the godly.” (Calvin)
d. It is better to marry than to burn with passion: Paul recognizes marriage as a legitimate refuge from pressures of sexual immorality. One should not feel they are immature or unspiritual because they desire to get married so as to not burn with passion.
i. Paul is not speaking about what we might consider “normal” sexual temptation. “It is one thing to burn, another to feel heat . . . what Paul calls burning here, is not merely a slight sensation, but being so aflame with passion that you cannot stand up against it.” (Calvin)
ii. At the same time, if someone has a problem with lust or sexual sin, they should not think that getting married will automatically solve their problems. Many a Christian man has been grieved to find that his lust for other women did not magically “go away” when he got married.
10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.
Verses 10-11 is about divorce and separation for Christian couples.
a. Now to the married: Remember that in this chapter, Paul is answering questions written to him from the Corinthian Christians. He has already dealt with the questions about the relative merits of being married or single, and if it is more spiritual to abstain from sex in a marriage relationship. Now to the . . . indicates he is moving to another question, and these questions and answers have to do with marriage and divorce.
b. To the married: Here, Paul is addressing marriages where both partners are Christians. He will deal with other situations in following verses.
c. A wife is not to depart from her husband: The Corinthian Christians were wondering if it might be more spiritual to be single, and if they should break up existing marriages for the cause of greater holiness. Paul answers their question straight from the heart of the Lord: absolutely not!
d. Even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: Paul, in addressing a marriage where both partners are Christians, says that they should not – indeed, can not – break up the marriage in a misguided search for higher spirituality. In fact, if one were to depart their spouse, they must either remain unmarried or be reconciled.
i. This connects with the two specific grounds under which God will recognize a divorce: when there is sexual immorality (Matthew 19:3-9) and in the case when a believing partner is deserted by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15). On any other grounds, God will not recognize divorce, even if the state does. And, if God does not recognize the divorce, then the individual is not free to remarry – they can only be reconciled to their former spouse.
ii. Jesus said the one who divorces for invalid reasons, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery (Matthew 19:9). When Jesus’ disciples understood how binding the marriage covenant was, and how it could not be broken (in the sight of God) for just any reason, they responded If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry (Matthew 19:10). They understood Jesus perfectly, and so should more people today, before they enter into the covenant of marriage!
iii. Therefore, if a person says “God just doesn’t want me to be married to this person any more” or “God brought someone better to me,” they are wrong and not speaking from God at all. God never recognizes a divorce for such reasons.
e. If she does depart: A Christian couple may in fact split up for reasons that do not justify a Biblical divorce. It may be because of a misguided sense of spirituality, it may be because of general unhappiness, or conflict, or abuse, or misery, addiction, or poverty. Paul recognizes (without at all encouraging) that one might depart in such circumstance, but they cannot consider themselves divorced, with the right to remarry, because their marriage had not split up for reasons that justify a Biblical divorce.
i. These problems may – perhaps – justify a separation (depart), but the partners are expected to honor their marriage vows even in their separation, because as far as God is concerned, they are still married – their marriage covenant has not been broken for what God considers to be Biblical reasons.
f. And a husband is not to divorce his wife: Paul applies the same principle to husbands as to wives, and makes the important distinction between one who might depart (separation while still honoring the marriage covenant) and one who might divorce. Except for sexual immorality (as Jesus described in Matthew 19:3-9), two Christians never have a valid reason for divorce.
i. Just as importantly, Jesus never commands divorce in the case of sexual immorality. He carefully says it is permitted, and that the permission was given because of the hardness of your hearts. (Matthew 19:8)
- enduringword, bible gateway
.. - from my spouse 
