November 26, 2008 - This morning I scanned the Bible randomly, I ran across 1 Corinthians chapter 7. God really knows what page to lead me to. I've been married for eight years now, and it is only now, that I am reading this chapter. I appreciate the bible more now, because it has everything to say about whatever topic there is to life. Since I am married, might as well read and understand what I signed for, in the first place. hahahaha.... why only now Nancy? Well, that's how good God is, He wants all His sheep be found. I was lost and now that He found me, I would want to stay as close as I can be.
Let me write down what I read, so I won't forget ( and so you won't forget too..)
1 Corinthians chapter 7 has 40 verses, and all are about principles, fellowship in marriage and singleness. But I will not write about it all at once, let's savor verses 1 to 6 first (NIV).
1 Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. 2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.
Paul brings out that it can also be good for a person to remain single--but because of the sexual immorality all around you (in Corinth), it's also good to be married. It's a natural thing for a man and woman to be married. God created man and woman and gave them a sex drive. Marriage is a safeguard against sexual immorality. In light of the danger of sexual immorality (ever present in the Corinthian culture – and our own), it is appropriate for husband and wife to have each other in a sexual sense.
3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.
a. Instead of a man not to touch a woman, within marriage, a husband must render to his wife the affection due her. It is wrong for him to withhold affection from his wife.
i. The affection due her is an important phrase; since Paul meant this to apply to every Christian marriage, it shows that every wife has affection due her. Paul doesn’t think only the young or pretty or submissive wives are due affection; every wife is due affection because she is a wife of a Christian man!
ii. Paul also emphasizes what the woman needs: not merely sexual relations, but the affection due her. If a husband is having sexual relations with his wife, but without true affection to her, he is not giving his wife what she is due.
iii. Affection also reminds us that when a couple is unable – for physical or other reasons – to have a complete sexual relationship, they can still have an affectionate relationship, and thus fulfill God’s purpose for these commands.
b. On the same idea, also the wife to her husband – the wife is not to withhold marital affection from her husband. Paul strongly puts forth the idea that there is a mutual sexual responsibility in marriage; the husband has obligations towards his wife, and the wife has obligations towards her husband.
i. Render to his wife: The emphasis is on giving, on “I owe you” instead of “you owe me.” In God’s heart, sex is put on a much higher level than merely being the husband’s privilege and the wife’s duty.
c. The wife does not have authority over her own body: In fact, these obligations are so concrete, it could be said that the wife’s body does not even belong to herself, but her husband. The same principle is true of the husband’s body in regard to his wife.
i. This does not justify a husband abusing or coercing his wife, sexually or otherwise. Paul’s point is that we have a binding obligation to serve our partner with physical affection.
ii. It is an awesome obligation: out of the billions of people on the earth, God has chosen one, and one alone, to meet our sexual needs. There is to be no one else.
5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command.
d. Do not deprive one another: Paul rebuffs their idea that husband and wife could be more holy by sexual abstinence. In fact, harm can come when they deprive one another, as they open the door to the tempter (so that Satan does not tempt you).
i. The word for deprive is the same as defraud in 1 Corinthians 6:8. When we deny physical affection and sexual intimacy to our spouse, we are cheating them.
ii. Do not deprive: Sexual deprivation in marriage has not only to do with frequency, but with romance also. This is why Paul tells husbands to render to his wife the affection due her. Either deprivation gives occasion for the deprived to look elsewhere for fulfillment – to the destruction of the marriage.
iii. For your lack of self-control: It might be easy to think that self control is expressed by abstaining from sexual relations in marriage, but Paul says that to deprive one another is to show a lack of self-control, and a lack of self-control that will leave one easy to be tempted by Satan.
e. I say this as a concession: God will permit (reluctantly, as a concession) a married couple to abstain from sexual relations for a short time, for the sake of fasting and prayer. But if this concession is used, it is only to be for a time, and then husband and wife must come together again in a sexual sense.
i. Not as a commandment: God is not commanding, or even recommending, such abstaining from sex within marriage; but it can be done for a brief time for a specific spiritual reason.
f. The principle in this passage is important. God makes it clear that there is nothing wrong, and everything right, about sex in marriage. Satan’s great strategy, when it comes to sex, is to do everything he can to encourage sex outside of marriage, and to discourage sex within marriage. It is an equal victory for Satan if he accomplishes either plan!
i. This can be seen in the way some of the Corinthian Christians thought it was just fine to hire the services of a prostitute (as in 1 Corinthians 6:12-20), and other Corinthian Christians thought it was more spiritual for a husband and wife to never have sexual relations!
ii. A Christian husband and wife must not accept a poor sexual relationship. The problems may not be easily overcome, or quickly solved, but God wants every Christian marriage to enjoy a sexual relationship that is a genuine blessing, instead of a burden or a curse.
Sources: enduringword, biblegateway
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